wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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