Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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