Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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