I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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