dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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