alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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