living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
my penis made a compromise with my morals
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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