Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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