If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
