never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize