My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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