Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
