You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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