He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
