so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
