I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
