Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
