ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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