How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize