I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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