Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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