I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize