Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
