dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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