I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
