There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize