Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
