on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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