my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
