She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
