Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize