i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Even my vagina gasped.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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