It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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