I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
