You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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