I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
