he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
being pregnant is like rehab
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
