my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
