If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
