Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
