Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
