anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
