I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize