i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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