Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
do herpes really smell.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
