omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i will never coherently bang her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
