it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
