So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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