Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
