i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
