lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
