covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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