I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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