LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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