Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
