Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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