She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
